Homeschooling and HIV

[William Hill]

This is an article I posted over at my "real" blog at The Parchment. Due to a recent broadcast of Covenant Radio I thought I would share this with the network.

In my last article I took a survey of the HIV / AIDS pandemic in the United States and offered a number of facts and concerns related directly to it. The main point, in case you missed it, stressed the importance of parental guidance and teaching on this most dangerous issue. In fact, every parent should be teaching their children about all forms of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's), including HIV. It should also be pointed out that Hepatitis C is as deadly as HIV and there is currently no cure. Hepatitis C is transmitted in the same way as HIV.

For some who frequent my blog on a regular basis these series of articles are certainly off the normal path of what I typically write about. My wife says I have a new found passion about a subject that very much concerns me. If I am successful in provoking one parent to seriously consider this issue and sit down with their children and have a frank, open conversation with them then I believe the efforts that I am putting into these series of articles will be worth it. I have taken this so seriously that I am enrolling to become officially certified to teach HIV awareness and would like to use it in various settings around my city and especially the Church. Let's face it, it is not something the Church talks about all that often and it really needs to be.

In this article I want to deal with a particular group of people as it relates to the HIV pandemic. It is my opinion that most parents are quite ignorant about HIV. I think I could substantiate this claim by a simple conversation with them. It is quite alarming, to say the least, to hear that many parents have never had this conversation with their children. Why? Because their children are living in a Christian home -- they wouldn't possibly engage in any type of risk behavior that would introduce the HIV virus (or other STD's for that matter). This is a terrible position to hold. Our children, though living in a Christian home, are sinners. They are faced with the same temptations and struggles that parents face and oftentimes it is more difficult because they do not have the wisdom and maturity to deal with some of these temptations. This is precisely why God gave children parents and told them to guide, direct, and teach them in all things. Yet, we do not want to talk about this issue. I remember when I returned from my HIV Awareness class how fired up I was about this subject. I also remember feeling somewhat alarmed that I had never discussed this subject with my three children. Why is that, I wondered? Well, it was not because I didn't know about HIV because I did. It wasn't because I didn't love my children because I do. I think it was because I had this undertone of belief, stated or not, that my children would never engage in behavior that would lead to HIV. I don't think I am alone. No, Christian parents won't say that out loud (so I guess I am the first) but this mentality that our Christian children have been told about abstinence and all this business is simply not enough. Our children need to know why. After all, it only takes one act of indiscretion, one risk behavior, to introduce HIV to the bodies of your "Christian" children. HIV will not discriminate and it will not interview your child and refuse to infect him or her simply because they are Christians. In my last article I implored the parents to have the talk with their children. Did you?

There is a group of people that I believe have a greater need to hear this information and act upon it, although we all need to hear about it. This group will likely bristle at the fact that I am targeting them. Yet, there is a mindset, especially in the Church and especially in this group of people that their little Johnny or Janey could never turn and succumb to temptations that would lead to HIV. The group of people I am referring to is the home schooling community. Now before everyone gets upset and stops reading you need to understand that I am a homeschooling father. I have successfully graduated two children and am very close to graduating a third. Yet, I do not think there was ever a time when we discussed HIV, STD's or relevant health matters. Nope, I cannot think of one time. Now perhaps I am in the minority and there are home schoolers out there that have been diligently telling their children the "how's" and "why's" of these matters but my gut tells me otherwise.

There is a mentality, within the home schooling movement (and it is not shared by everyone) that our children are somehow protected from the aspects of the world that would lead their children to destructive habits. I know all the arguments, frankly, and could use them. I know how home schooling parents will argue that they understand the dangers, which is why they are homeschooling. Fine. Yet, I think in some cases the perspective of home schooling parents is not always a long view no matter how they might like to say it is. There is a sense where the home schooling parents believe they have done what is necessary by protecting their children from the lures of the world by keeping them at home. Well, this is really silly. Believe it or not home schooling children do grow up and do make choices for their lives. They are sinners, just like all the other Christians who attend public schools. Sure, the influence may not be as "in your face" but the influence of the world is still there, nonetheless. Your children do not live in a bubble, and no matter how hard you might try, they will eventually have to go out on their own and make a life for themselves. Thankfully, and by God's grace, our Christian children avoid most of the traps this world offers them. But not all of them do. I know of too many situations where home schooling families lost a child or two to the lures of this world for one reason or another. I know of too many horror stories where some of the most difficult and troubled families were home schooling families. No, they are not the majority, thankfully. Again, the odds state that your children will grow and enter the world and avoid these traps, but does that mean you should assume your children will? Assumption is the mother of all screw ups. Don't assume.

So what is the point? If you are a homeschooling family I would like to know the last time you, in your curriculum for the day, openly discussed HIV and STD's? Have you done what the tendency is to do? Have you brushed it aside for "more important" subjects? You see, if you have, then you are behind the curve on this topic. Even public school students get a daily dose of health-based classes. Sure, not everything they hear in those health- related classes is biblically sound; but not everything they hear is wrong either. On this point, if you as a homeschooler are not tackling it head-on then you are placing your children at a great disadvantage. Would you like to bet that your children will never be in a situation that could put them at risk? Consider this:

Research has shown that a large proportion of young people are not concerned about becoming infected with HIV [12]. Adolescents need accurate, age-appropriate information about HIV infection and AIDS, including how to talk with their parents or other trusted adults about HIV and AIDS, how to reduce or eliminate risk factors, how to talk with a potential partner about risk factors, where to get tested for HIV, how to use a condom correctly. Information should also include the concept that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid infection. Source: Center for Disease Control. (Emphasis added).

Please note that "research has shown...". This is not an opinion. This is a fact and it applies to homeschoolers as well. Seriously, if you have young adults living in your home and if they are home schooled, now might be a good time to sit them down and discuss the issue. Give them the facts. Talk to them about the dangers of premarital sexual contact. Don't just quote the Bible to them but quote the Scriptures and then apply it to our world; their world they live in. You see, parents, you did not grow up with HIV! Your children are. Do you really want to gamble that your children will never place themselves at risk? Even those who talk to their children openly about it understand that there is no guarantee. However, you lessen the danger by having this conversation (and more than once if necessary).

So, are your children "bubble people" or are they being truly prepared to deal head-on with the culture they are about to face? I guarantee that your sons or daughters will eventually find themselves in a difficult situation that will require them to make a choice. Will they make the right one? What have you done to arm them with the facts and shown them the truth of abstinence and they value of remaining a virgin? The life you save by having this conversation might be the one of your own son or daughter.